Back to Reviews

Authentic Italian Without the Airfare

May 9, 2008

Although cuss words have the connotation of rudeness and inappropriateness, we tend to use them with people we are closest to, like our friends and family. These are the people we relax with while sharing good fine and wine; it is with them that we are free to be the vulgar beings we truly are.

La Parolaccia Osteria Italiana opened in 2004 in the design district on Broadway; it is an Italian restaurant lacking in formality. "La Parolaccia" means bad language. Not to worry, cuss words are only uttered in Italian.

My mom and I, no strangers to cuss words, decided to spend the day together. We aren't Italian, but we are enamored with Italian food so we decided to try La Parolaccia Osteria Italiana for lunch.

It was as if we had been teleported to an authentic restaurant in Italy. Upon entering we were greeted with an enthusiastic "Bon Giorno" from two servers. The front room has a large brick pizza oven and a vespa is parked under a large mirror. A vast collection of pictures of people cruising on their vespas adorns the wall.

Another wall has large photographs of Italy's countryside. The tables and chairs are of a dark cherry wood with red napkins and bright yellow bread plates on top. It seemed that many people had yet to receive the memo that lunch is now being served on weekends because we were the only customers.

Having our pick of any table, we chose one in the next dining room next to the open patio doors for fresh air and a view of the street. We like to people watch. We weren't disappointed; shortly after we sat down at least 20 people in black leather on Harleys whizzed by.

The room houses myriad bottles of wine as if we were sitting in a wine cellar. The walls have photographs of Italian politicians, comedians eating spaghetti, a Vogue cover of Sophia Loren, old Italian movie posters and pictures of fiats and other classic Italian cars.

We could see the entrance to a third dining room with a very long table for large groups. The restaurant expanded in January.

We were served bread with a homemade sun dried tomato pesto sauce. My mom was excited about the sauce; she told me she could live off it, as she repeatedly dunked her bread in it. Since she's my mom I wasn't concerned about double dipping. I was delighted with the sauce myself.

Our server Cindy brought us menus and helped us to select a wine. The menu being in Italian (with explanations in English) helped to simulate the idea that we were dining in Italy. My parents went last year, but they failed to invite me and it will probably be awhile before I can get there. You take what you can get.

We chose Chardonnay Bocca di Lupo IGT from Tormaresca for $8.50. It was light, but not too light, with well balanced flavors. My Mom said she could drink it all day. It sounded good to me.

The wine list was extensive, consisting mostly of Italian wines with a section dedicated to wines around the world. The average price for a glass of wine is $8. Bottles of wine range from $21 to $124. The corkage fee is $14. House white or red wine is offered by the glass at $4.95, by half a liter at $9 and by liter for $18.

Five different beers are offered. Domestic beer is $3.95 and imported is $4.95. Espresso based drinks, coffee, tea, soda and mineral water are also offered.

Other customers started coming in. One couple complained about the music being loud and went into the other room. We thought the music, which was in Italian, was quite pleasant. Another couple sat next to us by the patio doors. I think they were fellow people watchers.

We ordered insalata Caprese ($8.50) for our appetizer, which had sliced fresh tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, extra virgin olive oil, basil and oregano. Cindy informed us that tomatoes are in season. My mom said the mozzarella didn't taste like what you buy in the store. I was elated with the ribbons upon ribbons of basil. Growing up, my mom was an advocate of using lots of fresh herbs, especially basil, when cooking.

We ordered pasta, referred to as primi on the menu. I ordered rigatoni longobardi with large tube pasta, sun dried tomatoes, pine nuts and basil in a mascarpone cheese sauce for $12.95. My mom ordered the special consisting of homemade red tagliatelle pasta and lobster with a cream sauce for $15.95.

Fluffy clouds of lobster were cradled in pasta of a bright salmon pink color, with parsely and lemon zest sprinkled like confetti. It was a work of art and it tasted as extraordinary as it looked. The thick creamy sauce was sumptuous with lemony overtones. Both the lobster and the pasta were perfectly cooked.

My dish had yet more ribbons of basil and I asked for the fresh parmesan to be piled on as thickly as possible. The mascarpone cheese sauce was decadent, mixing well with the sweetness of the sun dried tomatoes. The sauce was laden with toasted pine nuts yielding great flavor.

Although my pasta had wonderful components, it was a bit salty for my taste; my mom agreed. After discussing all the nuances of our food, we decided we would like to come back for dinner and explore the menu further.

The average price for pasta is $14. Meat and poultry dishes, referred to as secondi, are also offered for an average price of $18. A side of any pasta shape in tomato or cream sauce is $5.95. Side dishes such as asparagi al formaggio with fresh asparagus sautéeed in white wine and garlic and sprinkled with grated cheese and funghi trifolati with wild mushrooms sautéed in white wine, garlic and fresh parsely are $4.25. Pizze and calzoni are offered for an average price of $14.

I asked about the desserts even though my stomach had run out of room. Cindy listed the options and the bread pudding with vanilla gelato sounded tempting, but I decided to give my stomach a break. The average price for dessert is $7.50.

After we finished our meals we talked with Cindy about cooking. Cindy was great fun; she spoiled us with exceptional service by being exceedingly friendly and knowledgeable.

Sadly, hanging out with Cindy for the rest of the day and delving further into the wine list was not an option; we had things to do. So we left La Parolaccia Osteria Italiana and came back to Long Beach. It was nice to be in Italy, if just for lunch. We were a little disappointed at not hearing any cuss words in Italian but perhaps we just weren't paying close enough attention. More surpisingly, we didn't exchange any with each other.

La Parolaccia Osteria Italiana is located at 2945 East Broadway. They are open Monday through Friday from 5:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. and Saturday through Sunday from 11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. To contact the restaurant, call (562) 438-1235.